Plus, if it is large, bulky, unwieldy, and incredibly macho-looking,
then you won't have to worry that casual passersby could have any
questions in their mind about your extreme heterosexual manliness.

Though you might want to staple a couple of centerfolds on the sides
and maybe bolt a grenade on one edge just to be sure no one gets the
wrong idea about you.

Whoops, wrong thread....