This is one of my many grand schemes as part of my master plan.

Right now I am currently working on this latest invention of mine (patent pending, so don't get any ideas, mofo's). It is a machine that will print out every possible combination of letters, numbers, spaces, and symbols of up to approximately one thousand pages. I need to work out a few bugs with the mail service, but once I am finished, I will own copyrights on all new books, stories, jokes, anecdotes, movie scripts, sitcom plots, documents, etc. - provided they are under the one thousand page limitation. However, this will not result in any of these industries grinding to a halt. Everything will continue as normal except all authors will pay royalties to me in exchange for the use of my works. Expected gross income is estimated to be in the hundred of millions and possibly billions of dollars, and all with very little overhead.

I will also have BBS posts that have yet to be posted, the empeg FAQ written backwards in Portuguese Pig Latin, detailed accounts of top-secret government agents' various missions in the year 2096, and detailed writings explaining the secrets of life. All this and more will be in my possession when I am through.