In an attempt to thinly spread the thread of my ISP woes across as many ``physical'' threads as possible:

It turns out that my DSL problems this whole time were due to BellSouth swapping my line from BellSouth service to Covad service (as they were supposed to do) without telling anyone. So Speakeasy had to prod Covad who, in turn, had to prod BellSouth into telling them that it was turned on. So, basically, I could have had service for these whole 7 days (so far) if I'd had equipment on my end, which Covad won't send out until BellSouth tells them when the circuit will be switched, another thing they didn't do.

So, to sum up, I should be back up as soon as I get that equipment. Probably early next week, unless that equipment shows up today or miraculously on Saturday.