Most people would say Iraqi civilian lives and American lives are equal, but if you had to choose one Iraqi civilian or one American soldier to die, who would you pick? If you had to choose between your own mother dying or someone else's mother dying, who would you choose? You would probably base your decision on which life is more 'precious' to you.

Generally, the soldier. Harshly speaking, it is their job to die. But, of course, individual decisions are based on who or what is more 'precious', and one cannot expect anybody to value a stranger's life more than their own. Still, firefighters, police officers, paramedics often do; perhaps soldiers should, too.

Incidentaly, I read some time ago (time for reread) an excellent short story collection, 'Artificial Things' by Karen Joy Fowler. One of the stories (I think the one that gives the title to the book) is about a woman whose man died in Vietnam; even her memories of him were haunted by a child he killed: the child was approaching him holding something behind its back, which might or might not be a bomb; I don't remember whether he found out, but that doesn't matter. Highly recommended.