Update:

I'm rooted and running CM7. That's the good news.

The bad news is that I did not have an unlocked bootloader. The other bad news is that unlocking your bootloader basically wipes your phone, so I wasn't able to back anything up. Oh well, it's a little cathartic in a way

But I'm quite happy now. I've already used Titanium Backup Pro to move a couple of unmovable apps to my SD card. I can't tell you how much that's going to help save space on the internal storage down the road.