So for the past few months, Lisa (SWMBO) has been getting a ton of calls from this number on her phone. A little research showed it to be some sort of debt consolidation service. It appears that they're using an Indian back office, but some people also claim they're located in Costa Rica. Regardless, the calls have become really annoying, especially since both of us have our cell phones registered with the National Do-Not-Call Registry.

Today, I just happened to be home when they called her. She told them in no uncertain terms to "stop fücking calling". So, of course, they called back maybe two minutes later. Frustrated, she asked me to pick it up.

ME: Hullo?
Guy With Incredibly Thick Indian Accent: (yelling) HELLO!? HELLO?!
ME: Yes, hello?
GWITIA: Yes, may I speak to Miss Lisa.
ME: No, you can't. Look, you keep calling us, and every time you do, you're breaking the law. Under Title 47, Section 5, Subsection 2 of U.S.C. 227, since you don't have an existing business relationship with us, and because this is a cell phone, we could sue you for $500 every time you call. Do you understand that?
GWITIA: Well that may be true, but...
ME: No, but nothing. Hell, Lisa just told you maybe two minutes ago not to call again. Why would you call back?
GWITIA: I don't know, it's an autodialer. But...
ME: <sigh> Don't you know it's illegal to use an autodialer to call a cell phone?
GWITIA: Well...
ME: Look, if you call back again, I swear I'll have our lawyer sue your company to hell. And with the number of calls you guys have made to us, that's a pretty hefty chunk. Got it?

(Truth is, one of my best friends is a lawyer who salivates at the idea of suing questionable financial services...

GWITIA: But sir, you...
ME: No. No. Just stop calling.
GWITIA: Ok, ok, ok... but may I please ask a question?
ME: <sigh>... sure, shoot the moon.
GWITIA: Are you a politician of the United States?
ME: ...
ME: ...no.
GWITIA: Are you a policeman?
ME: No.

(short pause)

GWITIA: It's just that I was thinking you must be very wealthy to not need to consolidate you debts.
ME:

ME: No, really. Stop calling. Really.

<sigh>

Are politicians and policemen particularly wealthy? Maybe all wealthy professions start with "p".

Wow.

Don't they have to reside in the USA for any of the do not call stuff to matter ?

At least you got to speak to a (sub)human. After listing a car on AutoTrader, my cell got spammed by automated messages from "Nevada". No way to tell them to F off. whocalled.us is a great resource.

The phone companies must be in with telemarketers. Think about it, they both make money off the deal. So the only people who could stop the mess have no inclination to do so. Just like the postal service and paper junk mail. I vigilantly demand that I stop receiving mail address to "Recipient" or "Resident", but the post office tells me there's no way. Thanks for wasting resources......

My favorite thing to do with junk mail is to use their own postage-paid return envelopes to send junk mail back. Let them pay more money AND support the Poastal Service!

In Canada, the postal service is required to stop delivering any type of unaddressed or junk content if you place a sign declaring it should not be delivered on your mailbox.

I have been using such a sticker (that I made myself) for the past month and it's been working great. No unaddressed junk mail, including fliers, circulars and coupon books, in all that time.

For any country...

Do your part to support legislation either prohibiting the postal service from delivering such content or for a policy to allow you to stop receiving it if you so wish. The burdon on society from the junk mail is enormous. Resources in the creation, transportation and disposal. Much of it paid by your tax dollars at every corner. You subsidize its delivery (junk mailers get amazing discounts), you must act to collect it and dispose of it. Your tax dollars pay the sanitation departments for disposal and/or recycling as well.

Some people have successfully billed junk mailers for their time in sorting and dealing with the junk. Post a notice in your mailbox, send a copy to the junk mailers and for every subsequent piece, send them a bill for $100-$500 for processing. Send it to their Accounts payable departments. You may find fighting junkmail becomes profitable for you.

You can also scan and re-use their postage paid marks, but that's likely considered fraud and may not end up costing the junk mailers additional money anyway since the postal service is unlikely to do a thorough job of consolidating what's moving through its system with their accounts receivable department.

For the US...

For individual junk mailers you can file form 1500 (http://www.usps.com/forms/allforms.htm) which is a declaration that you find whatthey're sending you objectionable. Intended for adult content, it is however within your sole discretion what you find objectionable, so this can successfully be used for pretty much any content.

Tips:

http://www.obviously.com/junkmail/
http://www.ecofuture.org/jmusps.html
http://idealbite.com/tiplibrary/archives/just_say_no_to_junk_mail_resolutions_week_2006/

Letter to US Congress from 2005:
http://privatecitizen.com/mail/congress-109/

I wonder if you could tape one of the reply-paid envelopes to a brick and post that

My other evil plan with respect to junk mail was this:

Step 1) Set up a mailbox on your property with a separate mailing address, ie a mail slot in the garage door or something and call it 123b something road.

Step 2) install a large mulching machine inside the door that the mail slot feeds into.

Step 3) sign up for every mailing list you can find for that address.

Step 4) let the free paper pour into your mulching machine, turn it on, and extrude compressed bricks of paper waste.

Step 5) burn said waste, generate heat and power to run your house, free of charge.

pca

Another thought occurs: I wonder what price recycled paper brings? Would it be profitable to sell on junk mail for recycling, if you could get enough of it?

I can see a problem with your evil plan, how are you going to deal with all the plastic wrapped junk mail?

Other than that, a brilliant plan.

There was so a Dilbert cartoon suggesting exactly that. It was part of a series, my favourite of which was "Did you know the phone company sends electricity into your house every time your phone rings? You can power things from it if you give idiots a reason to phone you." (pic of Dilbert putting up signs in his neighbourhood saying "Free Money, Call 555-1212").

Which in turn reminds me of the story in this article of someone placing a newspaper ad saying just "HURRY LAST CHANCE TO SEND IN YOUR DOLLAR" and his PO box number, and making a small fortune.

Peter

Just burn it as well. Or use thermal depolymerization

This last has the advantage of dealing with almost anything organic, so if someone posts a corpse through your letterbox it's still free power

pca

Hm, I missed that series. I came up with the idea independently, but I can well believe it's been thought of before. I wonder if it's been tried?

pca

It's been done. I remember an evening news article from some time ago where the chap was actively pursuing junk mail for that use. He even had a paper log rolling gadget.
edit: The postman was bringing bags.

There's also a service, GreenDimes, that actively unsubscribes you from every mass-marketing system they know of. I've not used it myself (it is a fee-based service) but I've heard good things.

Funny. Go to the USPS website and search for "junk" or just click this link. Check out the 3rd, 4th and 5th hits. They seem to be text from a Direct Marketing sales pitch that USPS must use to attract companies. Not one mention of how to get rid of junk mail. MotherF'ers.

Junk mail drives me NUTS. I get large local flyers for Safeway and Albertsons and tons of other crap daily. It's really infuriating every time I open my small box and it all just falls to the floor.

Sorry to threadjack this to junk mail; I can't help myself.

Quote:
I wonder what price recycled paper brings?

Apparently it's not worth too much, around me anyway. My local recycling facility (which accepts recyclable materials that town citizens drop off) stopped accepting recycled junk mail and cardboard a few years ago. Since those are the two most common items I dispose, I set out to find someone else to accept them. Apparently, cardboard does have a decent value, but I couldn't find anyone to pay for mail.

Well, there was this one shady operation that paid for junk mail. I get the feeling they were dumpster diving; going through looking for unshredded bank statements, credit card offers, etc. That probably made the junk mail quite valuable to them; worth paying for.