I ran into this when I got my iPhone, and before that, the iPod Touch.
There are a couple of third party products which will allow you to transfer photos to and from the iPhone/iPad without having to go through that weird "I WANT TO DELETE ALL YOUR DATA" thing that iTunes does.
In the past I have successfully used a product called
Copy Trans Photo. It is for-pay; if you download the demo it will only allow low-rez watermarked transfers. The software itself is a bit clunky, and they do the thing where when they upgrade past a major dot version (which they do at regular intervals, about yearly I think at least), they make you pay again if you want the upgrade. However, the software did work to transfer photos, and when I submitted a support ticket to them about EXIF rotation, they fixed it in the next release. The last time I looked at it, though, it only did photos, not panoramas or videos.
Recently I have been experimenting with
Disk Aid, which seems like a better product on the surface, but I haven't had a chance to spend much time with it. It does photos, panoramas, and videos, and the software looks less clunky. I have bought it, but haven't had any long term experience with its reliability. Also, I haven't actually tried using DiskAid to put photos *onto* the iPhone, I've only used to *retrieve* photos from the iPhone. I don't actually know if it will do that or not, it's not immediately clear from their web site.