I think that you are mistaken. It is obvious that we own UNIX, Unix, unix, uNiX, *nix and Linux. We intend to aggressively persue users who do not hold the required licenses for our software, and are prepared to litigate where necessary.

We believe that at least 4000 users of these 'empeg' car stereo things owe us $600 each for Linux licensing . If you would all forward us your mailing address so that we can invoice you it would make our lives much simpler.

In addition, we also own FreeBSD, OSX, Beos, Qnx, Windows and Doors. Our legal team is working on the lawsuits as I write. We also believe that any use of glass as a transparent divider infringes on our trade secrets, patents and copyrights, as does any example of a moveable divider. In fact, our ownership claim of Doors extends to any property, tangible or otherwise, that goes by the name of Doors, doors, dOoRs, dOOrs, The Doors etc. That obviously includes the music produced by that band who used our copyright without our permission. As a matter of fact, we own all music. Our legal team is currently notifying all the artists and audiences of music that they must license the right to perform or listen to music from us. We believe that a very reasonable licensing fee of $100 per song will be welcomed by the public.

In the extremely unlikely event that our lawsuit with IBM fails in its first hearing, I'd like to remind you that we own the alphabet, and will license the letters "I", "B" and "M" to them for a suitably large amount. We will also notify the judge that he owes us _lots_ of money for the use of those letters after his name. We will also persue the Federal Reserve Bank for infringing on our trade secrets by distributing letters from the alphabet on millions of pieces of paper without our permission. In fact, by definition, we own all those pieces of paper.

As you can see, we have nothing to fear. SCO will not go bust.