Fihst off, I want to staht by saying thank you to all of my suppohtahs and campaignahs, without whom my victory would not have been possible. To those who said it couldn't be done, what you say now?

My first act as govenah of California will be to tehminate all of the democrats who played dihty political tricks by mentioning my groping of women. My second act will be to grope as many women as possible. Applications for gropees will be available in the Govenah's office. Aftah that, don't expect to see much of me, because the Govenah campaign is just a stepping stone to my goal to become President and tehminate the entire country!

Asta la vista, baby!