I called my father and asked him about the best way to proceed with a situation like this. Amongst his many, many years of teaching experience (He's 76 now, taught from about 20ish until forcibly retired at 71! ), he spent 15 years working at a 'special needs school', which is packed full of kids of the type you are having a problem with. What follows is distilled from his dispensed wisdom I've also had a little experience of this sort of child, both from observing them in his school and being on the recieving end in mine, many years ago, so I sympathise with you.

There are really two types of children in these schools. One is the evil little bugger, who is often fairly bright, amoral at best, a sociopath at worst, and causes trouble because he either likes it or doesn't see any good reason not to. The other type is the one that has genuine behavioural problems, is often educationally subnormal (PC for 'a bit thick'), tends to be somewhat clumsy, and is prone to snapping mentally at very little provocation. They then throw a major fit, which can range from rolling around on the ground screaming to beating the crap out of an unfortunate bystander. When they calm down, which often involves a teacher sitting on them for a few minutes, they're often ashamed at their own behaviour and somewhat at a loss to explain it.

Labelling a child like this a bully is not entirely fair, since in many cases they are not. However, as my father put it, 'Being behaviourally disturbed is an explanation, not an excuse'. Any person has a duty to take control of his own behaviour and actions, not let them take control of him. Even at age 10, the vast majority of children are aware of this.

If your problem child is of the first type, you have little recourse but to either arrange to get rid of him, or move your own child to a different school, I think. However, from your description, the boy is more likely of the second type, and some thought must be given to ways of resolving the situation without escalating it to the point he ends up in a special needs place, if at all possible. While you have, obviously, both a right and a duty to see that no avoidable harm befalls your son, relegating another child to such a facility is something I at least would have to think very carefully about. Once in, they stand a 99% chance of staying there for good, and these schools are pretty much just a holding pen for kids until they're old enough to be sent to prison. Almost all of my father's students ended up like that, despite his best efforts and theirs. Several could have been redeemed if they hadn't been classified as 'difficult'. Seems a waste.

Anyway, what my father said is in several points:

1) Make your son aware of what the most likely reason for this child's behaviour is, and that it may not be entirely his (DPs) fault, and is certainly not his (your son's) fault. From your description, your son is already aware of this, so it shouldn't be a problem.

2) The school has a legal responsibility to keep your (or anybodies) child safe while he or she in in their care, including from other children. This responsibility used to be from the time the child left your home until the time he returned, and my father says he believes this is still the case. The school must be made to recognise this fact, and to recognise you are aware of it. He suggests a carefully worded letter to the headmaster as a first action, calmly detailing the events as you understand them and asking for their immediate action to prevent such things happening in future. The school must also explain to DP that his actions are unacceptable. The fact that a potential weapon was used to threaten one of their pupils adds urgency, and they should institute measures to stop such items being available to the child.

Explain to the school that not only they, but you have a duty to protect your son, and you won't back down, but do it politely. Shouting at the headmaster in a meeting, or immediately threatening legal action, is likely to be counterproductive. It's also important to follow the chain of command. Jumping instantly to the school board is most likely to have them simply refer it back to the headmaster, as they will take the fairly reasonable attitude that it is his responsibility to act on the matter. Start with the head, and work up to the board if you don't get acceptable results.

3) If at all possible, involve parents of other students who have had similar run-ins. The more people involved on your side, and the more evidence, the more likely prompt action will be taken.There may be a parent's representative on the school board, and if so talking to them might be helpful. Again, if this is the case, wait until you've contacted the headmaster first.

4) If you have no joy with the preceding actions, it may be worthwhile contacting a representative of one of the teachers unions and talking to them about it. For state schools this is the National Union of Teachers, and for public (ie private, the british educational system is a little weird) it's the Association of Schoolmasters and Women Teachers.

5) Don't involve the media! Unless you have a real wish to suddenly have no privacy at all, keep them out of it. While there are no local TV channels like in north america, the tabloids are often willing to sensationalise child violence, the younger the better. 'Killer 10 Year Old Tried To Stab Classmate!!!!!", in the Sun, for instance. Also, immediately reaching for the nearest lawyer is probably going to do little but cost you money.

I hope this is of some help. While I sympathise with the situation, I don't have kids, and you may well feel that you have no choice but to go for the nuclear option immediately to keep your son safe. That said, if the situation can be resolved with the minimum of permanent damage to others, it would be nice.

pca