Well, we met with the headmaster and classteacher this afternoon.

It went pretty well really, no unrealistic demands from either side and the whole affair was positive and upbeat.

The headteacher explained he was shocked to learn of our son's experiences mentioned in the letter. He said HE would have called a meeting with US if he'd learned of the goings-on sooner! Almost in disbelief, I asked him if our letter was the first he'd heard of ANY of these events. The teacher looked sideways at him before he replied as if to remind him of a previous discussion before, he replied "Yes".
We are reasonably sure he was talking BS but we couldn't disprove him so let it slide. FWIW, the reason we are so sure is because the events were reported on a daily basis both by my son (to the teacher) and by my partner the following morning before class. Added to that, DP's dad was asked by the class teacher to supervise him in the cloakroom before and after school - we find it hard to believe that in a small village school the headteacher would not have been informed.

The headteacher explained some of DP's problems as a special pupil and that they had various strategies for dealing with problems such this.
I don't know if I mentioned this before but literally one minute after an incident DP will have no recollection of doing anything bad to anyone. One example of this (and my son can cite many more) happened after the cloakroom/punching incident; DP was walking in front of him with his dad to the car to go home. My son was walking 20yds behind him in the same direction with his grandmother. DP happened to look around, saw my son and said "Hi <myson>" entirely as if nothing had happened! My son (I think 'rightly') believes DP has absolutely no idea why ~95% of his peers try to avoid him.

We have agreed that our son (and so has he), will participate in a technique that is sometimes successful in bullying situations where the perpetrator has no idea of the problems they cause their victim. The headmaster will sit with DP and our son together in his office and ask our son to explain how DP's actions affect him etc. The desired effect is that DP will see the angst he causes others by his actions thereby better enabling him to reconcile people's subsequent attitudes/behaviours toward him directly as a result of his own behaviour. There is a name for this technique which escapes me right now and possibly I haven't explained it too well (I need sleep )

This could go either way and I'm sure it's not going to be a pleasurable experience for my son to explain in front of DP how he made him feel. On a more positive note, if it's successful the results should be evident very quickly (which is the clincher really). The head has assured us he will be instructing all of the teachers etc. to be on the lookout over the coming days just in case there is a further incident.

If there's no big improvement over the next few days we'll be back meeting with the headmaster, watch this space!


That's the upbeat part done with, cynical me knows this is all one big game to the headteacher really, one which we as parents are obliged to play along with; The one where he would love to ignore the situation if he could get away with it and it (we) just went away. The one where he didn't confirm he would attend the meeting. The one where he wishes we wouldn't bug him, which is what the other parents seem to do.....

We heard from a friend of my son that DP had recently picked up a brick in the playground and threw it at another child (and missed). Nothing, we found out today, has been reported to the school!